I was telling my brother about this half assed date I was on the other night. This girl and I were at a bar, and she leads me to the beach, and after some talking and flirting, I lean in to kiss her, and she doesn’t kiss back. She doesn’t do anything. I literally hooked [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Blog'
Black Parents White Baby
July 22nd, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
This was in the news. Real news. But is it real? Who knows, but it definitely must have been an awkward birth for the husband who may have thought his wife was breeding with a white man! The sister looks mad and the brother looks happy. This is like a double chocolate super size oreo [...]
Tags: black parents
10 Animals More Sexy than Tori Spelling
July 9th, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
Most teen shows have girls who are hot. Saved by the Bell, 90210, OC, That’s So Raven, are some examples. And sometimes, there’s a girl who was raised by a millionaire who gets cast into shows because her Father is the main man behind the idea, even if she isn’t really that hot. I would [...]
How old were You when these came out?
July 9th, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
Getting Drunk vs Having Sex
July 9th, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
Which one do you like best? Choosing is not as easy as you think when you weigh the options. There’s several common factors involved in our alcohol vs vagina debate, and they are as follows: Light beer/heavy beer vs light girl/ heavy girl. Flavored beer vs flavored condoms. Cheap beer vs cheap hooker? Pounders or [...]
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Germans Dislike Paul the Octopus
July 8th, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
Dear Paul the Oracle Octopus, It was entertainingly nostalgic watching you predict World Cup winners. I found you to be most influential in which games I would watch, jerseys I would wear, and vuvuzela I would irritate people with. Through all we’ve been through together, the capturing of you unwillingly from your habitat, the frying [...]
Tags: bullshit·friends and family·games·germans·motherfucker·octopus·oracle·slivers·sriracha sauce·suckers·world cup winners
Dear Fat, Lazy, Jobless American Assholes…
July 5th, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
Happy 5th of July. It’s better than 4th of July because 1 – no one gives a fuck about 4th of July except the fact that we have off and there is 99% chance a free firework show, and 2 – no one gives a fuck about patriotic holidays except creepy old guys who get [...]
Tags: 4th of july·5th of july·arby s·assholes·cows·excuse·fast food·firework show·food deals·free food·fuckers·hooker·jew·jews·patriotic holidays·roast beef·sandwich·thailand
Happy 4th of July Asshole
July 3rd, 2010 · No Comments · Blog
I can’t stand smokers. But I really can’t stand assholes who smoke on the beach. Is there a reason you have to pollute this perfectly good beach air by making it smell like complete shit? Is there a reason you’re a dumb fat hideous fuck who looks even more fuckier by waddling this little white [...]
Tags: 4th of july·assholes·beaches·bottom line·budweiser·digging a hole·dumb shit·ellen degeneres·happy 4th of july·redneck·seagulls·second hand smoke·secondhand smoke·sip·smokers·teeth·tennessee·white smoke
